Charming
by Dlvvanzor
Summary: Light and L debate Light's exact sexuality... while in bed. Not horribly graphic. Oneshot. LxLight


**A/N: Warning. Yaoi. Slash. Lemon. If you don't know what those mean, then first off, how did you find this fic?, and second off, you reeeeeally might want to hit the back button on the top left of your screen now... just saying. You're welcome to stay, however. Might turn you over to the yaoi side. : ) I'll give you a minute to run if you want to.**

**Okay! For those of you who remain HIGH FIVE! And on with the fic!**

**P.S. Please review. Reviews make me grin like an idiot at my computer. Really. I'm not making that up. I seriously sit there and grin as I reply. It's frightening.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

"L... Light-kun..." L gasped.

The younger boy was beneath him, uke, on this particular night, but he still managed to make L's life impossible. Currently, he was holding the detective by the thighs, completely disallowing L was he so, SO badly wanted at the moment.

"Ryuzaki, we can't keep doing this. This is the fifth time this week."

L took a deep breath and worked to control his face, which he was certain was flushed with pleasure and restraint. "What is your point, Light-kun?"

"It's Tuesday."

"I still fail to see the point of this conversation," L replied, trying to sound bored. Why was Light doing this when _he_ finally got to be seme again?!

"It's wrong. On so many levels."

L sighed. He was going to say what of course he already knew. And at the worst possible moment. Light rolled over and sat up, his glistening naked body drawing L to him like a magnet. He immediately began to lick at him, but Light pushed him off, firmly, I'm-a-man-too-and-we're-the-exact-same-strength, no-nonsense. "One. I spend a lot of time performing anal sex with you. Which is not normal for one who considers himself heterosexual. Two. You are approximately seven years older than me. Three. I am, according to you, Kira. Four. We should be working right now."

A small, mischievous smile crept across the detective's face. "You do not consider yourself a homosexual?"

"Should I? Wait, _that's_ what you got out of that speech?"

L shrugged. "The very fact that we do so often indulge in this way, and moreover the fact that you clearly enjoy it, may lend to the conclusion that you should." He didn't blink once.

Light, thoroughly annoyed now, shoved L off all the way. "What makes you so sure I _do_ enjoy it? If I _was_ Kira- which I'm not- you should consider the possibility that I sleep with you for the sole purpose of making you fall in love with me, not for my own personal enjoyment."

"I've already thought of that, Light-kun," L said, looking indifferently at the ceiling. "But your point is moot. I am one hundred percent certain that you _do_ enjoy what we do. Very much." He climbed over Light again, straddling him, and silenced the younger man's protest by touching his bare chest with his long, cold fingers, and then making his way down.

Light's brain exploded with pleasure when L touched him. He tried to contain his moan and failed horribly; it ended up coming out as a fairly pathetic whimper. L smiled and pulled away, actually getting off the bed and standing, slouched as always. Some of the image was lost when he automatically tried to shove his hands into his pockets (he was naked), but Light was too busy suffering to notice.

"Ryuzaki... you're evil..." he panted out.

"Evil? Really? What justifies your assignment of the term 'evil' to me, as one whose only goal in life is to catch criminals?" He had his ever-famous and ever-infuriating innocent voice on. Boner or no, Light was tempted to throttle him and then rape him. But not in that order. Maybe at the same time, though.

"It's called blue-balling! And that's what makes you EVIL. Honestly! For such an intelligent person you would think you would understand a little bit more about anatomy!"

L cocked his head, his shaggy hair falling to the side he tilted to, framing his startlingly white face with his startlingly black hair. He managed to look like a zombie and a puppy simultaneously. "Blue-balling. I have heard the term, but I have never experienced it."

"That's because I'm the only one who you've ever _kissed_, let alone _slept with_, and I would _never_ DO that to a person!" Light shouted at him.

L stared at him, wide-eyed and expressionless. "That makes sense," he said blandly.

Light groaned, not in pleasure, and let his head drop back down onto the mattress. "Fine. I enjoy having sex with you, a man. Are you satisfied now?"

L smiled a small, impish smile. "Partially."

Light sighed, exasperated. "What more could you possibly want me to say?! Do you want me to beg? Is that what you want?"

L shook his head and looked down pointedly at his own crotch area. Light followed his gaze. So _that's_ what he meant. L was just as hard as Light was.

"You know, I could just let you experience blue-balling," Light said.

"You just said you would never do that to a person. That it was, in fact, evil. Although in reality you _did_ do it to me earlier by preventing me..."

"I _stopped_ you for a moment. I would have still relieved you," Light snapped.

L appeared to consider this. "Would you have?"

"Yes!" Light exploded. "You know what? You either come over here right now or I'm gonna take care of this myself, right in front of you, and I'll think about Misa as I do it."

L contemplated this, too. "Do you truly feel that you could have that kind of reaction to the thought of Amane-san? In the light of your recently affirmed homosexuality?"

"She's beautiful," Light said curtly.

"That is true," L confirmed, staring into Light's eyes.

"And she would let me take her anytime, anywhere, in any way I wanted."

"Yes."

"And she's good."

"Yes."

"But she's..."

"An insufferable idiot?" L suggested

Light released a breath, all the fight gone from him. "Yeah. Pretty much."

L crept over to him, slowly. "She has her moments of intelligence, Light-kun," he said softly, contradicting what he had just stated. "Especially when it is in regards to making you happy. However, the very fact that she'll do anything you say... anything at all..." L paused for a moment, thoughtfully, probably calculating how that stacked up to the ever-changing Kira Percentage, before resuming, "... makes her her own worst enemy. Light-kun is not like the other boys Amane-san has pleasured in the past. He can not and will never be truly _stimulated-_" here L put a hand on the mattress on either side of Light's head, leaning in close to him, "-by someone he has no respect for. And Light-kun respects very, very few people. Cares for several, yes- his mother, his Sayu, his father- but there is only one who he truly _respects_, only one who is in any way his intellectual equal. Therefore, there is only one person with whom Light Yagami can have a satisfying sexual encounter..."

By this time, L was fully on top of Light, straddling him again but not touching him, breathing on him hotly. He could sense how hard it was for Light to not reach out and touch him, and admired as always his stubbornness. He knew Light was aching for his body. He knew it because he desired Light just as badly.

"And that is why..." L whispered against Light's neck, "... you need me. Need me even to quiet Amane's constant begs to lie with you. Because, her undeniable beauty aside, your sexuality aside, you have only ever, since meeting me, been able to "get it up" for Ryuzaki. For L. For _me._

Light shuddered at the truth in his words and could not argue. It was true. Last time Misa had begged him, he had gone through the motions quickly, to get it over with. He had closed his eyes, trying to pretend he wasn't screwing this extremely hot girl that he found entirely repulsive. Pretending she had a mind. Pretending he was thrusting into an ass instead of _Misa_, specifically...

_L's_ ass.

It was all true.

Light could only nod, but L knew exactly what he was saying. "I'm glad we have finally come to the same conclusion, Light-kun," he said politely.

He began to move his lower body slowly against Light's. Light gasped and went limp, his heart double-timing as waves of pleasure swept through him. L increased his speed and pressure, and when Light was groaning, he entered without warning.

Light's facial expression made L almost lose his balance. If he was beautiful when he was clean, groomed, and wearing a suit, then he was godlike when he was like this- covered in sweat, mewling, twisting his body, clutching at him, his fingernails digging into him.

Light finally came in a rush, the contraction of his anus tipping L over the edge with him. They held each other, still moving, gasping, riding out the orgasm as stars exploded behind their eyes.

When it had all passed, L let himself fall right on top of Light.

They stayed that way for a long time, silent except for their audibly loud breathing, focusing on not getting aroused again by the body now pressing into them, the body that was gasping for breath because of what the _other_ body against it had just done.

Finally, after a long time, L said quietly, "So, Light-kun. Are you a homosexual?"

Light flipped him and dominated his lips with his entire mouth, kissing him hard, biting. For almost two full minutes, Light kissed him viciously, giving him the power neither to respond nor to be stone under him. When he finished ravaging his mouth, doing things that were guaranteed to leave marks, he jerked his head back and stared L in the eye. The detective's eyes were watering, but he hadn't protested and he didn't complain now that he had the chance to. Light smiled, the smile he had used on dozens of girls and a few guys when he had wanted them to do his chore duty at school, the smile that always, _always_ got him what he wanted.

"Flaming," he annunciated, making sure his lips moved suggestively as he spoke.

As was not entirely unexpected, the older man was unable to respond.

Light continued. "But you can not possibly suggest that you do not enjoy this- all of this- as much as I do. What does that mean for you?"

L finally regained his voice. When he did, he cleared his throat, but it still cracked when he spoke. "What it means for me is that I enjoy, immensely, having sex with you."

Light sat up with a satisfied smile, ignoring the pain that action brought with it.

"Although I'm convinced," L continued, "that I would enjoy sleeping with you just as much if you were female."

Light raised a perfect eyebrow. "Really."

"I believe so."

"If I were female, or even if you were female, Ryuzaki, we would not have a constant fight for dominance."

"I said that only under the condition that you be exactly as you are now, except in a female body. Therefore, we would still battle endlessly, and our relationship would lose none of it's... charm."

"Charm..." Light repeated to himself, amused.

L shrugged. "Do you have a better word for it?"

Light wasn't playful often, but it did occasionally happen. "Nope," he said frivolously. He stooped down and pecked L on the nose, then let himself fall to the side of him. "My butt hurts," he complained good-naturedly.

"Occupational hazard," L said lightly.

Light chuckled and held out his arms. The detective moved into them, chewing on his thumb, and nuzzled his head against Light's chest. Light wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He sighed contentedly.

"Hey, guess what?" Light said.

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

He felt L go stone still in his arms. The man didn't seem to even be breathing.

Light propped himself up on one arm, leaning over L and looking at him. "Don't worry about it," he said gently, and parted L's damp bangs enough to kiss his forehead directly. "I don't care if you don't feel the same. It's okay."

L lifted his head to where Light's still was, catching him on the lips and kissing him tenderly. "Light," he said simply, conspicuously dropping the honorific. "I love you."

Light smiled and lay back down, holding L close and stroking his hair absently, burying his face in the ebony locks. "I'm so glad," he whispered.

They lay together in silence for a long time, loving the person in their arms, loving the sound of the other's steady breath, their heartbeat.

"Light?" L said suddenly, "Are-"

"No, Ryuzaki," Light sighed, "I'm not Kira."

L sighed too. "Very well."


End file.
